💜 Empathy and Compassion 💜
In Design Thinking and Daily Life

When I first encountered the concept of empathy in Design Thinking, I saw it as a helpful framework for understanding people’s needs and motivations. Years later, when I began training in and practicing Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication methods, the overlap between those practices and the “Empathize” phase of Design Thinking was immediately apparent. I began incorporating both approaches into how I practice and teach Design Thinking.

Charles Duhigg, in his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, reminds us to ask: “Does this person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?” That simple question has changed how I approach my work—and life. Michael Ventura echoes this theme in his book Applied Empathy, showing how practicing empathy involves sensing and respecting others’ emotional contexts. By fusing these insights, I have found a more authentic way to create solutions and build connections. My free workbook, which many of you have already downloaded, adds practical steps to make this a consistent practice.

“Empathize” in Action

You may wonder, “What does this look like in practice?” A great example is the story of the Embrace Infant Warmer. It’s incredibly moving and beautifully exemplifies “Empathize” in action. I’ll keep it short, but a team from Stanford discovered that many premature infants in developing countries were dying because traditional incubators were too expensive or inaccessible. Rather than imposing a ready-made solution, they took the time to truly listen and to clarify whether the local community needed help (a new system), a hug (emotional support and alignment with cultural practices), and/or to be heard (a voice in how their babies should be cared for). By honoring these perspectives, they developed a simple, cost-effective “sleeping bag” for keeping newborns warm—a design that resonates because it respects both practical and emotional realities. Whenever I watch footage of parents using these warmers, I see how empathy—at both the design and interpersonal levels—can literally save lives.

So much practical and actionable compassion is needed in the world today–in ways that don’t deplete but rather replenish us. I became a student of “Empathy” because I realized my inadequacies in all areas. While I still have a long way to go, I take solace in knowing I have a learning plan, concrete steps to practice, and tools for growth.

Technique Mashup: Empathy Map + Compassion Check + Duhigg’s Question

My free workbook outlines a framework that merges a classic Empathy Map with the 4-step NVC process.

1. Identify Your “Person” (customer, friend, family, colleague, etc.)

• Choose a specific individual or group facing a challenge. Give them a short backstory (where they live, what they do, their daily pressures, etc.).

2. Empathy Map

• Download the map and notice the four quadrants labeled: Thinking, Observations, Feelings, and Needs. Populate each section with observations, quotes, and emotional cues. Use the workbook lists to help you with the sensations, feelings, and needs.

• This clarifies what they experience at both a surface (behavioral) and deeper (mindset) level.

3. Compassion Check

• Look for any hidden hurdles: cultural expectations, financial constraints, family obligations, and so on.

• Ask yourself: “If I were in their shoes, how would these unseen realities shape my decisions?”

4. Duhigg’s Question

• Ask: “Does this person want to be helped, hugged, or heard?” In other words, are they looking for actionable solutions, emotional support, and validation, or simply an open ear to feel understood?

• Let the answer guide your approach, whether that means proposing immediate solutions, offering a kind gesture, or creating space to listen more.

5. Reflect and Adapt

• Compare your findings with your initial goals. Where do you need to pivot in order to align with the person’s real emotional and practical needs?

• Determine a strategy or action based on the exercise.

Key Takeaways

Empathy Takes Many Forms: As Charles Duhigg highlights, sometimes people need solutions, sometimes they need comfort, and sometimes they just need acknowledgment.

Applied Empathy Is Leadership: Michael Ventura’s perspective reminds us that empathy isn’t optional—it is central to genuine leadership and collaborative success.

Respect the Whole Person: By combining practical insights (like the Empathy Map) with deeper emotional awareness (Compassion Check + Duhigg’s Question), you respect “users” and colleagues as complete human beings.

References + Resources

My YouTube Playlists:
Everything Empathy Mapping
Thirty Days of Empathy

Ventura, M. (2018). Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership. Atria Books.

Duhigg, C. (2024). Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection. Random House.

Rosenberg, M. (2015). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Puddledancer.

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